8 Things Japan’s Hi-tech Toilets Can Do that Yours Cannot

Don’t knock them till you have sat on them is what I say. Japan has brought the Krapper to a new level.

The commodes can do everything but drive you to Blockbuster to exchange your DVDs.

Japan treats the pot with respect and no holds barred engineering.

Japanese toilets can:

1.  check your blood pressure

2.  play you music

3.  wash and dry your anus

4. clean you ‘front parts’ by means of an in-toilet nozzle

5.  suck smelly ions from the atmosphere

6.  switch on a light for you

7.  put the seat lid down for you (a function known as the ‘marriage-saver’)

8.  and flush without requiring anything as old-fashioned as a tank.

All that and more IF you can figure out the hi-tech control panel.

Toto, not the dog, has sold 20 million such gizmos to a nation of 120 million (25 millionish households).

Tota, still not the dog, made $4.2 billion in sales in 2006 and has 20,000 employees and controls 2/3s of Japan’s bathroom market.

Toto, the dog, is waiting for Toto to make a pot just for canines. It’s just a matter of time.

I can hear the Japanese boast “My toilet is smarter than your toilet.”